How to cope with divorce as a man and as a woman

DEALING WITH PAIN FROM DIVORCE

Divorce is painful. This is because when it comes, no one is really ready. When couples get marries, it is with the intention of spending the rest of their lives together. Nobody plans for it, even when the relationship is bad, the break-up still hurts so much.

Divorce is painful because it represents a loss, not just of a relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. Romantic relationships start on a high note of excitement and hope for the future.

When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress and grief. Divorce separates not only couples, but also children, extended families and friends and even your own identity.

Dealing with the pain is hard, however, it is important to know and to keep telling oneself that you CAN and WILL move on. It is important that the couple and all concerned realize that it is alright to have a different feeling.

Sadness, frustration, anger, anxiety about the future are all feelings that one will experience. Remember, time heals all wounds. Give yourself a break- know that even your productivity will be affected for example at work. All these will however seem alright if you accept that you are not superhuman.

Find someone to share these feelings with. You do not have to do it alone. Friends and family can help. Think about joining a support group, where you can talk to others in a similar situation.

Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship, loss of companionship, financial support, loss of hopes and plans. Grieving helps in the healing process. New hopes and dreams will eventually replace the old ones.

When all is over, remember to stick by your children (if any), your family and relatives. Divorce is not an end but a beginning as well.